Marriage is Holy, But It’s Not Easy: A Journey of Love and Faith

Understanding the Struggles of Love

Marriage is a sacred bond, yet it can be incredibly challenging. Loving someone who is suffering stretches us in ways we never anticipated. You can pour your heart into your partner and still feel tired, frustrated, or alone. It’s possible to be grateful for them while also wishing things were different.

Have you ever felt that tension? “I love them… but I’m exhausted.” “I’m doing so much… does anyone see me?” “Why do I feel guilty for feeling this way?” If you have, please know that you are not alone.

This is not a tale of a perfect marriage or having everything figured out. It’s not solely about my husband’s illness. Instead, it’s about how God used real-life pain, weakness, disappointment, and everyday moments to teach me what love truly looks like.

Love that is patient and kind. Love that sacrifices. Love that sees the miracle right in front of you. Love that resembles Jesus.

I wrote this because, at some point, I forgot. I forgot the beauty of my marriage. I forgot the gift God gave me in my husband. I forgot that love is more than just feelings; it is holy, supernatural, and a reflection of God Himself.

But God, in His mercy, opened my eyes.

A Moment of Reflection

Before you dive into my story, I invite you to pause and pray:

“Lord, open my heart. Show me where I’ve grown hard or weary. Show me the miracles I’ve stopped noticing. Teach me how to love like You love. Amen.”

This is my testimony of marriage, surrender, conviction, grace, and how I discovered that I am living with a miracle.

A Difficult Time

October 6th & 7th, 2025

West Columbia, SC

Lexington Medical Center

My husband has been hospitalized again. This is expected when you’re thirty-six and living with non-alcoholic end-stage liver disease.

It was supposed to be a routine endoscopy to band varices in his esophagus. This was to prevent them from bursting and bleeding out. Halfway home, he couldn’t hold it anymore, and I had to pull over for him to vomit. That’s when he said it, “Sarah, that’s blood.”

My heart sank. I said, “I’m calling an ambulance, or shut the door so I can take you back.” As soon as he was able, he shut the door, and I drove like I was the ambulance. They got him back in, stopped the bleeding, and kept him overnight for observation.

The next morning, I walked into his room, and he was sleeping. He didn’t stir or wake, and I could just tell he hadn’t slept well all night. I covered him up and sat in the chair in the corner. Watching him sleep brought an unexplainable peace. He was alive, safe, and peaceful. I could finally breathe easier.

At first, I thought this whole episode was another wake-up call for him, another lesson meant to help him choose a better life. But it turns out, this time, God was teaching me.

A Lesson in Humility

I do not know how I could have been so self-centered and self-righteous, so certain that I had it all together. I’ve realized I do not. Not even close. I try to manage things like an assignment. If I don’t get an A+, then I’m not worthy of any praise or recognition. If something isn’t going how I think it should, I tend to micromanage and overthink to the point that I take things out on those around me.

Somewhere in the chaos of caregiving and frustration, I discovered a new appreciation for my husband. Though he’s sick and doesn’t do much around the house, he still fulfills a purpose in our home and family. He is, quite literally, one of God’s miracles.

Yes, he gets on my nerves and pulls a wrath from me I’m embarrassed to admit, but his presence in my life has been God-sent. I knew that from the time I had our daughter and he asked us to move in with him.

A Beautiful Proposal

Then that Christmas, he woke me up from a nap with our daughter. He had laid an envelope on her belly, addressed to Mommy. He told me that she had one more gift for me. I opened the envelope; he had printed words with little dancing candy canes. “Will you marry my Daddy?” I honestly knew it would be coming soon, but I did not think I’d feel so at peace and overwhelmed at the same time. It was an obvious Yes! I knew if I did life with him, he would always love me and be there for me and our children.

Somehow, I forgot the true feelings of love behind it all. Life can harden us, can’t it? The enemy whispers bitterness into our hearts, telling me to nag him, to believe he’s not good enough, to think I’m doing too much for him. Sickening, really, because deep down, that is not how I feel. Not even close to how I want to identify or portray myself either.

The Strength of Love

My husband has been there for me through all sorts of storms. Even when plans fall apart, business ideas fail, money is tight, and the weight of the world presses down, I forgot that I don’t have to bear it alone. I was not bearing it all alone.

He still tries to make my life easier, even when I don’t see it as enough. He doesn’t do the laundry, but he makes sure I have a clean coffee cup in the mornings. He doesn’t always come to bed with me because of the insomnia that comes with his disease, but if I fall asleep with the lights on, he will come take my glasses off, cover me up, and turn off my lamp. If I’m overworked, overwhelmed, or overstimulated, he asks if I have eaten and then convinces me to sit down so he can make me something to eat.

He has always been there for me. And that means something holy.

A New Beginning with Jesus

Then Jesus entered my life, and I was born again. I thought I finally had it all figured out; the answer is Jesus. And it is. But it’s also deeper and more complex than I realized. As I started building my relationship with Jesus, I think I was missing some things in my worldly relationships. I fell so in love that I forgot about my duties and responsibilities around me. Jesus needed to love my people through me, and here I was, complaining about chores when I should have been giving thanks for all of the blessings we do have.

My husband showed me unconditional love, and through that love, my heart was opened to the love of Jesus Christ. My husband saved me, but Jesus did it first.

The Weight of Love

I watched him sleep in that hospital bed, wondering when I would lose him. That heartache was not even a reality yet, but I could feel its weight. Now I see that the love I once took for granted was never just his; it was God’s love, shining through him all along. I needed to return that love with equal presence.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I know I am going to lose him eventually in this life. We still have eternity with Jesus Christ, but I know one of us must go before the other.

My husband may lose his battle one day, but one thing I know now is he will not lose me. I will be a better wife and caregiver for him and because of him. I will rebuke the enemy and his schemes. I love my husband, our children, our home, and our life together. No amount of mess or stress should affect unconditional love.

Embracing the Moment

When he woke up and saw me in the corner, he looked confused at first, probably because he could not see who I was without his glasses. Then he said, “Hi Baby,” rolled over, and went back to sleep. He was comfortable in that peaceful moment. I did not need anything else from him.

The Spirit had come and convicted me. It sat with me and told me where I needed work. It revealed to me that I needed to be better—for my husband, our children, and our Savior, Jesus Christ. It showed me that I am living with a miracle.

In conclusion, marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs. It requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to grow together. Through the challenges, we can find the beauty in love and the miracles that surround us every day. Let us embrace this journey with open hearts, allowing God’s love to flow through us.